11 March 2012

Ridiculous Retail Complaints

I came across this "review" of Wal-Mart via STFU Parents.

So this "very upset mother of two" has a "complaint" about Wal-Mart. A'ight, who doesn't have a complaint about corporate this or store policy that or OMFG the service at this place I went to SUCKED BALLS -- but this complaint? This complaint is a fine illustration of everything that is wrong about current parenting trends... and then some.

Cashier and shopping carts not child friendly.

Okay... what the fuck do you mean by "child friendly"? Are you really concerned that children -- well-behaved, socially-adjusted children -- might get hurt by these things? I doubt it. And her story bears that out. Witness:

My mother, daughter, and I stopped at a Walmart store on our way home from vacation. As we were shopping through the store, I let my three year old daughter push one of the carts around the store.

Oooh, okay, so you "let your [toddler] push a cart." In normal English, that translates to "I let my precious little snowflake ram a grocery cart into every set of legs she could find."

I got the feeling that we were given a lot of dirty looks as we went through the store,

Gee, maybe because your demon-spawn was terrorising every calf, shin, ankle, and knee she could get to with that cart?

...but I didn't care.

Obviously, or you'd have had enough sense to kerb your kid.

When we finally got two carts full, we decided to leave.

I'm betting this took at least twice as long as it should have, due to Cznofleykke "helping" with the cart. Really, shopping goes much faster when the grown-ups are in charge.

When I started to unload the carts at the checkout, my daughter started running around the aisles and bathrooms.

Fairly normal-ish kid behavior, yes. However, it's not so much the child that's the problem, here. Read on.

Everytime I brought her back to us, she would run off again.

Which is why you hold on to your kid's hand, or put your kid on a leash, or have Grandmama -- who you've already stated was along to help with the shop -- keep the kid under control for a bit.

I'm sure that we, growing up, pulled a few runners on our parents, both intentional and accidental, and did some annoying things in public, but, um... this kid's behavior, and the mother's complete lack of response, makes us look like we were little saints!

The cashier seemed to be annoyed at the situation.

Gee, I wonder why...

Some people just don't know what it is like to have a rambuntous three year old like my daughter.

On the contrary, some people expect you to take charge and parent your child -- that means you teach your child how to behave when out in public. And you start that teaching AT HOME. It just isn't kosher to hold off on discipline and behavioral lessons until you're, say, in that fancy restaurant and little Bhraeydeynnne starts screeching like a wounded tomcat during mating season because ZOMG, THIS PLACE IS BORING!

...oh. Right. I forgot. Actually disciplining and training your kid will just ZOMG, CRUSH HER SPIRITS! It'll KILL her CREATIVITY!

I ignored her.

That, right there, is the problem. Ignoring your misbehaving (and probably misbegotten) spawn while it runs roughshod over the store, the retail slaves, AND the other custies. This mother had the perfect teaching opportunity here, and wasted it.

Finally my daughter decided to stay near me.

See, now when I was a kid, we didn't get to "decide" to stay near mom or dad. It was ENFORCED.

Unfornately, my daughter decided to start climbing on the carasel.

I'm assuming this is the bagging CAROUSEL. (Please note the correct spelling!) The bagging carousel is not now, and has never been, a play area. It is clearly marked with signage saying (paraphrased), "DON'T CLIMB ON THIS!" Jesus haploid CHRIST, I know your kid can't read, but as the parent... yeah, you're responsible for keeping your little "angle" away from dangerous machinery.

After many other attepts to get her to stop,

Attempts. Right. How many of those went beyond, "Caydenne, please stop climbing on the carousel"? (None, I'm guessing.)

I gave her some chicken I was buying.

Packaged, frozen chicken? A pack of chicken nuggets? A couple of cornish hens?

And, uhm, "some" chicken? As in, you removed some from the package? Or you were buying multiple small units of chicken and gave her one of the small packages to play with? I'm really confused by this.

Third, and most importantly, giving your kid raw chicken to play with is a really awesome way to get Salmonella and other nasties -- especially when young kids are involved, because young kids don't know that raw chicken is a disease vector, they don't know to wash up after handling it, and chances are, your kid's hands are going from that raw (hopefully well-packaged) chicken, straight into her mouth.

As I continued putting things on the counter, my daughter was standing next to the carasel. Next thing I know, some of my daughter's chicken is on the floor.

Implying that you did, in fact, hand her a package of drums/thighs/breasts/chicken parts, and that package somehow "mysteriously" opened itself without aaaany assistance from the kid. Oi.

I demanded to know what had happened.

Well, if you'd been supervising and (gasp!) parenting your child, this wouldn't have happened! And, hey, you could have politely inquired, rather than DEMANDING the poor retail slave (who ain't making nearly enough to deal with your entitled ass) be accountable for your child.

The cashier told me she had accidently hit my daughter with the carasel.

And what did you think was going to happen if you let your girl-spawn climb all over the carousel?

Even though she said she was sorry, I didn't believe it.

Oh, ferfucksake. Ya really think the retail slave DELIBERATELY hit your kid? Seriously?! Oi...

I know she was getting annoyed at my daughter and hit her out of spite.

Of course she was annoyed -- I'm annoyed just reading about your miserable little crotch-goblin and the chaos and destruction she rained upon the poor Wally-World slaves! But to accuse her of deliberately hitting your kid? Methinks the mombie doth protest too much.

At that point I just wanted out of that store.

Funny, so did everyone who encountered you and your kid...

After all the groceries were scanned, I handed the cashier my coupons.

::headdesk:: FUCK ME IN THE NECK WITH A TWO-BY-FOUR! You're supposed to place the coupons on the product you're using it for -- BEFORE IT'S RUNG UP! Ask ANY retail slave!

All of my coupons scanned except two.

Expired, I bet.

Then she decides to be a miss coupon know it all, and goes through both of my carts looking for an item.

Because you DID IT WRONG in the first place! Had you handed over the coupons up front, before things were rung up and bagged, this would not have happened at all. Seriously, LRN 2 SHOP, lady!

That is when I got pissed. I got very loud and said boy it sure takes us a lot longer to check out than it does to shop.

Nobody's fault but your own, there -- if you had kept your daughter under control, and properly placed the coupons on the belt, you'd have been out of there in no time, flat! But, of course, it can't be YOUR fault, no, because you and your precious snowflake are PERFECT, so it must be the fault of the retail slaves. ::rolleyes::

Look in the mirror, lady, and you'll see the problem.

I also added in that the cashiers like to be busy bodies and abuse children.

Uhhh.... what? What the actual fuck? The cashier wasn't "being a busybody" by trying to give you the best service possible (rummaging through already bagged items just so YOU can use a coupon). And she certainly wasn't "abusing" your child when she ACCIDENTALLY hit her (while your child was playing on something she shouldn't have been playing on).

The cashier then gave up her fight.

What fight? The one you insist on trying to start?

She rushed the rest of order, which I thought was very rude and unprofessional.

Uhm... you just said you wanted to get the fuck outta there, and now you're bitching about the cashier rushing your order? Make up your gorram mind!

She looked like she was going to cry.

Thanks to you.

I did give her something to cry about.

Yeah, your attitude and behavior is fucking heinous. I'd be crying if I had to put up with a bitch of this magnitude.

I went to a manager and reported her.

For doing her job?

I hope they fired her.

For... doing her job.

There as no excuse for any of this at all.

For your rude, entitled ass? Nope, no excuse.


The entitlemoo didn't stop there, though. Oh, no. She keeps going, this time it's about her son. (This is an entirely separate incident from the one above.)

I went shopping at around 5pm with my two children. My nine year old son and three year old daughter. While I was in the clothing my son was pushing the cart.

I bet she was in the clothing, completely oblivious to her kids halfway across the store. But, eh, it's possible she was, like, right there.

He decided to get in the shopping cart. He stood at the edge to get out and the cart tipped over. He banged his head on the floor and had a bloody nose.

Yeaaaah... your kid did EXACTLY what the warnings on the cart say NOT to do! (Gee, kinda like your daughter with the bag carousel...) And worse yet, the nine year old has no fucking excuse for not being able to read (and heed!) the warning.

The team handled it pretty well. They gave us ice and helped stop the bleeding. This is not what this complaint is about.

Great, but...

However they told me that my son is not allowed to step in their shopping cart.

Yeah, that's for safety reasons, as your son so handily demonstrated.

None of this would have happened if they had more child friendly shopping carts.

No, none of this would have happened if you bothered to parent your gorram kids, and paid attention to warning labels!


Somehow, I get the feeling that this lady's version of "child friendly" means less "safe for kids to fool around with" and more "let my kids do whatever they want, regardless of the consequences -- I can't be arsed to watch after them while I shop."