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29 December 2009

Things That Take You Back To Childhood: 1: Sesame Street

Yeah, I admit it: I enjoy watching Sesame Street first thing in the morning. Go ahead, mock me if you will, but for me, it's a daily dose of childhood innocence, an hour for me to quietly wake up, without having to hear about another bombing in Afghanistan, or another incident in Iraq, or another rape, murder, or child abduction. It's also about all I can handle first thing in the morning -- my brain takes about an hour to "warm up," and I'm not about to try to comprehend anything more complicated than numbers, letters, and muppets before noon.

As an adult, I'm noticing there are so many layers to the show, things you never noticed (or even would have paid attention to) as a child. Sesame Street is, in short, very much complex within its simplicity.

28 December 2009

Unintentional Honesty?

engrish funny no explanations
see more Engrish

At the Church of All Nations next to the Garden of Gethsemane in Jerusalem

I think this speaks for itself.

22 December 2009

Creepy, But Cool

Akinator, the Web Genius

Holy HELL this thing is creepy!

It guessed Cthulhu, James Hetfield, Alice Cooper, Ozzy Osbourne, Fox Mulder, AND Barack Obama, all from yes/no/maybe/dunno answers. Now to see if it'll guess Weird Al....

Check it out, man!

21 December 2009

Homophobe Parent Behaves Like An Ass

Parent Files Complaint Against Gay Teacher for Corrupting Child's Innocence

What did the teacher do? Why, she announced to her class that she was getting married to another woman! And this asshat "parent" made a big fucking deal over it.

Why not just be happy for the woman? She's getting married to the one she loves, which is a beautiful thing!

But some people just can't wrap their heads around the idea that love isn't restricted to people of the opposite sex. (Or, thinking of a triad I know, solely the cisgendered.*)

I don't get what the big deal is over gay marriage. We're people, we live, we love, we want to formally declare that love -- JUST LIKE YOU. "Civil unions" won't cut it; I seem to recall a time when "separate but equal" was applied to another group of people, and that didn't work out well at all. Civil rights are for ALL people, regardless of color, gender, sexual orientation, or any other arbitrary division you can think of.

*cisgendered -- this is the term for people who are not transgendered, that is, our physical gender and our mental gender match up.

17 December 2009

Have A LOLcat.....

I got nothing, today. No interesting thoughts, no strange revelations, just Iron Maiden coming through the speakers, and a rather dull mind-scape.

So here, have a LOLCat.






















*wanders off to sort links*

14 December 2009

Blog Reorganization

I need to update and sort the links into categories (i.e. "religion", "LGBT", etc). This may take a while.

Blah. Just... Blah.

Blech. I feel like I'm coming down with something.

10 December 2009

Go Team Maddow!

PZ Myers covered Rachel Maddow's complete evisceration of "ex-gay" Richard Cohen and his "de-conversion" bullshit. (PHARYNGULA)

Having watched it three times last night, I couldn't stop giggling at his lunacy. Sexual orientation, while fluid to a degree, isn't exactly something you can change.

I'm bisexual. Men, women, I find them both attractive. But I lean towards the "straight" end of the spectrum, with a definite preference for the Y-chromosome set. Come to think of it, a true 50-50 bisexual is a rare thing, most of us "lean" towards one end or the other. So, yeah, sexuality, for me, is a fluid concept, as is gender; I don't see the need to single out the LGBT crowd for "you, you're different, you're BAD" treatment, because it's all just a variation on the themes of sex and gender.

Likewise, sex isn't about which parts are going where -- it's about bonding with your partner, and having fun, and feeling good. It's something that should be enjoyed, not shut away as "dirty" or "obscene".

03 December 2009

Bored.

I've been awake since 8:00 this morning. I'm freakin' BORED, man! I'm not USED to being awake that early, and don't know what to do with this extra time.

Have a LOLCat:

Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension

30 November 2009

Things You Don't Think About #3: On Pet Food....

Pet food adverts always play up the "it has a flavor" angle, hyping the texture and flavor(s) of the food -- tuna, chicken, meat, what have you.

So... who does the taste testing?

18 November 2009

Things that make you go: Huh?

Okay, I'm in a severely altered mind-state right now, so please disregard typos and weirder than normal shit.

I had a brilliant thought on the nature of the human uterus and how it's meant to carry (ideally) one fetus to term per pregnancy. And sometimes stuff happens and you end up with twins, rite? Well for each additional fetus in the uterus there is less and less available to them from momma's resources. The human uterus is simply not meant for birthing litters.

And then I thought, but they do breed litters -- they just do it one cub at a time.

Youa's litter of four is going to have another cub to play with in ~6 moons.

As for me, no, I will not be plopping out cubs AT ALL because I'm not mother material.

Honestly, I dislike most cubs: they're loud, obnoxious, and move WAY TOO FAST for my comfort. At teh same time, I absolutely WILL NOT ALLOW ANY CUB -- related to me or not -- to come to harm. This is one of the huge NONO-s of the Church of Satan: WE DO NOT CONDONE the hurting or killing of children and small animals. (So, no, no squicky sacrifices going on.)

I guess I could cub-sit when they're a bit older, though.

Unfortunately, not many (even within my own family) would be willing to leave a Satanist watch over the cubs.

*sad* But at least I can get in on a cuddle puddle with my favorite cubs every once in a while.

...

...

Shit-the-ambien-just-kicked-my-ass-goodnight!

13 November 2009

Things You Don't Think About #2: When your parents compare you to Sesame Street characters, they might have a point.

I remember, at various times and ages, in my childhood, being compared to Oscar the Grouch.

Today, I heard Sesame Street mentioned a few times (40th anniversary or something), and that got me thinking about a Sesame Street Persona quiz, and how I was going to make one (if someone hadn't already).

Well, one was made over at OKCupid

And, surprise, surprise, I am:

Your result for The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test...

Oscar the Grouch

You scored 33% Organization, 53% abstract, and 31% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are more sloppy, both concrete and abstract, and more introverted.



Here is why are you Oscar the Grouch.

You are both sloppy. You might not always know where everything you need is. Perhaps you don't even care. You don't live in a trash can though.


You both can be concrete or abstract thinkers. Oscar's vision of life is very dreamy in an unusual way. His greatest pleasure is being unhappy, but the act of being unhappy makes him happy... which is exactly what he doesn't want. That's quite abstract. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires within limits.


You are both quite introverted. For whatever reason you are uncomfortable in social settings. You probably have one or two people that you are close with. You'd rather do things by yourself and you dislike working in groups. Oscar hates it when people bug him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Take The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test at OkCupid

08 November 2009

"Because She Needed It"

I just read an excellent, if disturbing, article over at Box Turtle Bulletin -- "Because She Needed It"

In short, a man was fired for harassing a fellow employee, who happens to be a lesbian, over her mentioning her engagement (and upcoming marriage) to her partner.

He told her that her lifestyle* is "deviant", among other things.

The irony, the sick twist in this, is that he was in charge of making sure the company's non-discrimination policy was upheld.

So the company fires him for, basically, being a dick towards his co-worker. And now he's claiming he was fired because, get this, he's a Christian, and "she needed to hear that her 'lifestyle' is 'deviant' and 'sinful'." *snicker*

I don't understand this.

Why did she "need" to hear that she's "deviant"? Or that she's a "sinner"? Or any of the ever-growing number of insults and slurs often used against LGBTs?

Why couldn't he just be happy for her, congratulate her on her engagement, and move on?

Why did he feel compelled to insult and belittle her, over something so trivial as who she was marrying?

For that matter, why do Christians feel the need to constantly (over)share their religion?

This is America. You can't sneeze without hitting a Bible. We've ALL heard the spiel already -- Son of gawd, died fer yer sins, repent, DELIVERANCE! -- and for those of us who've rejected it in favor of other religions, or for no religion at all, it gets old. Fast.


No other religion pushes as hard as Christianity. Sure, you'll sometimes see Hare Krishnas, or what have you, but 99% of the time, when you get proselytized at, it's some flavor of Christianity. (Most likely Evangelical, Mormon, or JW. They can be fun to play with.) I've never been approached by a Muslim and asked if I've found Allah. Never had a Jew try to convert me to Judaism. Never met a pagan or witch of any flavor (or either Path) who tried to recruit me. The few Satanists I know (online)... no pressure there.

But Christians! Ah! No, they HAVE to make everything about Christ. Most Christians are cool, really, but I seem to run into mostly the pushy obnoxious fundamentalist types. I've been told (with a straight face, no less) that "GOD will give you new legs." (I distinctly remember being too stunned to make a witty reply.) I've been told that my disability is a result of sin -- mine, my parents', my birth-parents', my grandparents' (both real and, uh, genetic). The hell is this shit?

I, uh, I should get back to what I was saying before I went on a tangent/rant, there.

So, yeah, Christian douchebag is fired for being a bigoted dick. Files a lawsuit. Claims that his lesbian co-worker "needed" to hear that her "lifestyle" is "deviant", and that he was fired over his religion. For fuck's sake, he's the goddamn MANAGER IN CHARGE OF ENFORCING THE COMPANY ANTI-DISCRIMINATION POLICY! You think he'd have KNOWN that he was breaking the rules. Of course, he's a Christian, so he gets a free pass on obnoxious, annoying, and even illegal behavior.... *eyeroll* He's "not perfect, just forgiven."

Overhearing normal conversations about his co-worker's upcoming wedding is somehow "forcing" her "homosexual lifestyle" "down his throat."

But when he deliberately seeks her out and goes all Jesus-junkie, calls her a "deviant", and so on, it's just "sharing the good news."

Can someone PLEASE explain this godawful hypocrisy to me?

The other thing I wanted to riff on, here, was the title. "Because she needed it." Those are four words that I don't ever want to hear again. It's nothing more than an idiotic deflect-the-blame dick move. Every abuser has used it. "I hit her because she needed hitting." Yeah. It was a trigger. I did a *shudder-twitch-gag* when I read it.

Nobody needs to be abused. Verbally, emotionally, mentally, or physically. What this man did was not only against company policy, but it was abuse. The company was right to fire him, and I think charges should be brought against this asshole.

Religion is NOT an excuse (or free pass) for bigotry, hate, or abuse, and I'm tired of seeing it used as such.


* There is no such thing as a "homosexual lifestyle". It's not a choice. And it certainly isn't "deviant".

02 November 2009

What. The. Fuck.

Girl, 11, Gives Birth On Wedding Day

Read the article.

Go on, read it. I'll still be here when you're done.

Give it a minute to sink in.

Then you'll understand why my reaction went something like this:

What the fuck?

11?

11?!

With a 19 YEAR OLD?!

And she had a BABY?

Quite possibly the most disturbing part of the article is where she said that she "has a new toy."

BABIES ARE NOT TOYS! AAAUGH!

WHERE THE HELL WERE HER PARENTS?

WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING?

GYAHHH!

Sometimes I hate humanity.

21 October 2009

New Medication Regime

Wow, so it finally happened.

We're slowly increasing the buspirone, with a goal of 10 mg twice a day, and I've already noticed I'm less anxious. The Test, of course, comes at the next big family gatherum -- if I can get through it without trying to kill Kyle, we know the meds are working.

We added Concerta, an extended-release form of ritalin. Today is day two of that, and I've noticed that I'm [i]focusing[/i] on things, where I couldn't before. Yeah, even things I'm interested in. It feels good to have an attention span.

I feel... good.

12 October 2009

Oh. My. God.

So I met this guy on the 'net a few months back, and we met face to face yesterday -- the chemistry, to say the least, is very, very good.

For the first time in, like, forever, I actually feel attractive.

We hooked up again today, and holy FUCK, not only is he nice, attractive, and a gamer geek -- he has STAMINA! (wink wink, nudge nudge, know what I mean?) I'm going to go take a well-earned nap, now. *tired smile*

09 October 2009

A Four-pack of Cute (and funny)

It's a day early, but happy Caturday!


Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension


Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension


Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension


Image Source,Photobucket Uploader Firefox Extension
(Where'd they get that picture of me?)

I'm back!

Just got my computer back from the shop. (Two weeks. Two WEEKS!)

Waded through 200+ e-mails.

Now, I'm going to sleep.

14 September 2009

This Made Me Laugh

I'm a little bored right now, and checking out some of the quizzes on OKCupid. I was in the middle of "The RPG Class Test" and this question, and its answers, made me stop and laugh for a few minutes.



If you're curious, here are my results:


Your result for The RPG Class Test...

Mystic Theurge

11% Combativeness, 30% Sneakiness, 68% Intellect, 64% Spirituality

                               
Brilliant and spiritual!  You are a Mystic Theurge!


Score!  You have a prestige class.  A prestige class can only be taken after you've fulfilled certain requirements.  This may mean that you're an exceptionally talented person, but it probably doesn't.


The Mystic Theurge is a combination of a cleric and a mage.  They can cast both arcane and divine spells, and are good at both, making them pretty terrifying on the battlefield.  They have more raw spellpower than just about any other class.


You're both intelligent and faithful, but not violent or deceitful.  I guess that makes you a pretty good person.

                                Take The RPG Class Test
at HelloQuizzy
                               

11 September 2009

Well, damn.

Had one can of Cherry Dr. Pepper, totally forgetting that it's caffeinated. Now my head is starting to hurt.

One More Thing

Did I mention the person I saw on Tuesday is really good looking, in a Rachel Maddow kind of way?

09 September 2009

OMG, SQUEE!!!!

Dreaming of Kittens

Way too cute for words, must be SEEN!

Things You Don't Think About #1 - Family Medical History

I had my psych intake today, and it went well. I was bothered by one thing: filling out a medical history form.

You know, I can list my meds, I can give contact information, all that stuff I know, I can fill in. Even most of the surgeries and immunizations... well, the major ones.

Not a problem, right?

Until I reach the half-page section titled "Family History".

Tens of checkboxes for various conditions from depression to heart disease, and a number of things you really wouldn't ordinarily think about. After all, your parents are your parents, they fed you, clothed you, took care of you when you were sick, and you don't think about the genetics of the situation.

Obviously, when they thought about this form, they didn't think about it, either. It just doesn't come up, I guess, but I think it's a potentially interesting issue to explore.

So I just scrawled: "Unknown -- Adopted!" across the checklist.

I'm off to bed, now.

Oh, and the person I saw said that even though my sleep schedule is way off, at least it's consistent.

Good night!

08 September 2009

Nightmare Fuel

As the title says, this image is pure Nightmare Fuel.

This was my reaction.

02 September 2009

New Lift

My parents have installed a wheelchair lift @ the back porch.

*does a happy dance*

30 August 2009

Whoa. Just... whoa.

Part of what triggered this episode is the Garrido case. The other part was this conversation at Change.org.

I'm in the process of getting help, and hoping that I can return to some semblance of normalcy -- whatever that is -- soon.

29 August 2009

I Need Help [Potential triggers]

If you're a member of my close family reading this, yes, I should have told you sooner. I shouldn't have just kept it locked inside.

My ex abused me. Verbally, emotionally, physically... and I realized, sexually, as well. I won't go into detail, here, because I'm on the edge as it is, and cannot handle it.

Over the past couple of days I've run into several "triggers" -- things that bring back the damage he did, bring back the feelings I thought I'd managed, bring back issues that I pushed down and never dealt with. And these were MAJOR triggers, for me.

I was already in what I call a "blah" phase before that. And now... now I'm feeling somewhat suicidal. I can't even sort out my emotions right now, but, I'll try.

I'm angry. At him. At the "law enforcement" around here. At myself.

I feel so helpless. Hopeless. Don't even want to get out of bed for a cigarette.

I'm tired.

Tired of having to wonder, "is he going to be out there?" "Is he lurking in the bushes over there?" "What was that noise?"

Tired of being paranoid.

Tired of being SCARED.

Tired of not being able to trust.

And tired of putting on a brave front for the benefit of my family and my friends.

I'm just... so tired of it all.

I've lost interest in everything. I do mean everything. Nothing's enjoyable. All I'm doing anymore is sleeping.

I'm tired of holding it all in. Tired of having to be strong.

I'm tired of being alone, terrified to let anyone in.

I'm tired of the depression. Tired of the anxiety. Tired of jumping at every noise, and reacting violently to unexpected touch. (Sorry about that, Mom.) I've had to tell Mom to not gesture near my face, but can't explain why -- I know why it makes me nervous, but I cannot tell her the reasons. Neither she, nor Dad would be able to handle it, and I don't want to cause them more stress.

The only solace I get is in sleep. I just... want to go to sleep, and not wake up. But I'm scared to do that, too. Scared I'll fail, just like I fail at everything else.

I wanted to go back to school. I still WANT to. But what's the point? What the fuck is the point, if I'm going to be a miserable depressed scared-shitless wreck that can't function?

I... I... I need help. Serious HELP.

Mom, Dad, Angela... if any of you are reading this, I never meant to deceive you. I needed time to process this myself, and didn't want to dump all of my mixed up emotional shit on you guys.

Review: Irritating Stick

Irritating Stick Title Screen
(click for larger image)

SYSTEM: PSX

Yes, this is a real game. It really is. Seriously. GameFAQS confirms it.

No, I'm not sure what the point of it is, but it sure is... irritating. It's quite pointless, really, guiding a stick through what seems to be a race course, and more difficult than you'd think. Yes, really -- I didn't even make it past the first course.

10 for originality, 10 for difficulty, 0 on gameplay. (In short, it's unique, but it sucks.)

27 August 2009

I Don't Know What To Say....

This article has me with face in hands, giggling like a madwoman and cursing at the idiocy of some people.


MOUNT VERNON, Wash. A northwest Washington man is recovering after accidentally shooting himself in the leg while hunting an opossum that had been snatching his chickens.
(source: Chicken Owner Shoots Own Leg While Hunting Opossum)

Mount Vernon: the Deep South of the Northwest.

Y'all come back now, y'hear....

26 August 2009

Demotivators!


It's time for something a little a lot less serious.
(Finally looks the way I wanted it to look!)





























It's, what, the 23d century, or something, and on a starship of several hundred people, there is only one restroom. You'd think they'd have planned a little better than that, amirite?























Okay, so this last one is almost blasphemous, but seriously, he was always going around poking at dangerous animals!  [bad Aussie accent] "This is one of the most venomous snakes in the world; it looks pissed off -- I'm going to pick it up!"[/bad Aussie accent]

25 August 2009

Overthinking

I think I'm overthinking this whole school thing and psyching myself out of just doing it.

Sometimes I hate being a compulsive worrier.

I need to suck it up, and just do it.

I mean, isn't life all about facing your fears, and proving, if only to yourself, that they're stupid silly fears?

ETA: Apparently, I should just stop thinking.

20 August 2009

Back To School... Maybe

I want to go back to school.

But I'm scared. Not of going back, per se, but of failing. Again.

And yet, I need to go back, complete my education, and get a job. It's almost impossible to get by on $675.00 a month.

And even if it's a shit job, even if it's like, two hours, four days a week, it's something. It's paid work, and at this point, anything helps.

New Blog is NEW!

Hello and Welcome!

I'm in the process of moving from LiveJournal to Blogger, this may take a while, so please bear with me. (For anything prior to this post, feel free to visit my LiveJournal.

The title comes from a Metallica song, "My World", and a bit of LOLspeak. I turned, "It's my world you can't have it" into "It's my world (Can't has, not yours)."